Indubitabil, Nu Conteaza.

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* “Lady in Love” photo by boopsiedaisy;
notice the perfectly symmetrical heart above :)

Emotional abuse is what causes many relationships to end up badly or continue in an abrupt manner, which finally leads to emotional and neurotical disorders for both partners.

The symptoms are very easy to spot: infliction of accusations and low self-esteem, verbal and physical violence, imposed isolation from friends and relatives that might influence an abused woman positively.

Sometimes they are tacitly accepted by women who are afraid to split up with their abusive partner because they might end up lonely and discouraged, unable to take a fresh start in life for a long period of time. These women continue to put up with the abnormal behavior of their lover, fallen under his psychological influence, as they are emotionally too attached to break the circle.

PS: The abusive partner had also been abused at some point in life. Which means victims abuse other victims. :|

It’s frustrating to have feelings for someone who doesn’t love you back and get hurt because you don’t know how to manage such relationship: where to set the border, where to step the line, where to get drifted by the flood of emotions and let go of yourself to meet the other.

It’s frustrating to know you can’t do anything about it when he wants to see someone else. Or you can do, but don’t dare, don’t want to.

And it’s a sign of respect if they choose to show you some trust and take you with them when meeting another woman to recover the pair of glasses forgotten overnight. It’s when they mean: “You matter more”.

in noaptea asta am mult chef de scris. nici macar nu-mi ajung “foile” pt cate as putea spune. nu ma mai impiedic de dicritice, de inceputuri cu “capital letter”, de fixatii, obsesii si alte traznai. in noaptea asta scriu ca sa ma vindec. de orice forma de prostie care mai zace ascunsa prin vreun cotlon al mintii, de ignorantza, de dureri, de abuz, de denaturari ale adevarului si de oameni care ma calca pe cap. in noaptea asta am dor de ploi si ma sufoc de caldura. am nevoie de Tine, dar tu nu esti de gasit. si de tine, desigur. if you ask me, I could even be your girlfriend. dar iti sunt doar paravan pt cand vrei sa te ascunzi, vorbind in shoapta despre cum te simti.

sunt sigura ca am sa scriu o carte. intr-o zi. deocamdata, am blog - pe care nu-l citeste mai nimeni (de ce crezi ca am ranking-ul pe Trafic?!) asa ca scriu pana nu mai pot, si cand nu mai pot o iau de la capat. voi fi o scriitoare celebra, imi spun. dar neaparat online, ca sa am contact in real-time cu cititorii. nimeni sa nu ma priveze de bucuria feedbck-ului imediat, cand Inbox-ul imi semnaleaza un nou comment. sa alerg in voie printre pixeli fara sa obosesc si sa mai si castig ceva din asta. asa cum face Bobby Voicu* si alte zeci de bloggeri care au mirosit ce inseamna sa-ti fi propriul marketer.

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*Apropo: uneori, Bobby posteaza de la Green :)

I realize it NOW, after a while dealing with anger missiles shot each time I get close to my BF, that life is soar if you over-dose the sweetener: men don’t work better if we bathe them in Jell-O.

It’s ridicule to believe that calling everyday, talking on mess or sleeping in the same bed makes it last. A relationship is fueled by something more specific than words, something more tangible (?) yet volatile: FEELINGS in action. If these are one-sided and if they’re misdirected, it’s a pity to lie to yourself that “things are just fine”.

What I’m going to do to eventually revitalize our (now) friendship is… nothing. I will try to sit back and wait for him to tend his hand when ready. It may never come, but as least I haven’t lost him completely as a person. He will have the freedom of being himself when being around me.

“Suntem obisnuiti sa traim in prezent, eventual cu nostalgii pentru un trecut idealizat.

De ce fac aceasta afirmatie? Deoarece, atunci cand conditiile in care suntem obligati sa actionam sufera modificari de structura, nu avem un back-up. Primul lucru pe care il facem cand suntem in impas este sa-l gasim pe VINOVAT. De regula, fara forma si fara nume. (…)”

- Monica Tatoiu, in Editorial