Indubitabil, Nu Conteaza.

There will always be a market for bullshit.

Is there anyone out there not tired of the Internet, of the way we use it to manipulate (ok, influence) and sell and “grow your business”? Does anyone use Internet for positive change anymore? And what is positive and negative? What’s Good and Bad? Personally, I am tired of (Romanian) Online Bullshit.

***

“Nice country. Too bad it’s populated.”

Well, I wanna see more of the nice side of Romania. Really. I wanna see it everywhere, not just here. I am tired of Romania as we know it and see it every single day. I am tired to see empty pocket average people alongside convertibles and 4-hooks suited gens, see f*cked up teenagers with no future alongside shmuks with attitude, see poverty across from luxury and kitsch-packed shopping venues (aka the malls).

***

What biggie did the NATO Summit do? 

Read the rest of this entry »

1. Why is it so much easier to put words together here or tweet than write a 2000 words piece?
2. Why is it so much easier to be hermetic in writing and an open book in relation to people?
3. Why is it so much easier to do stuff than things that require effort?

Have we lost as much as the ability to make a sympathetic gesture?

To lean onto someone who needs a hug for warmth? To pinch a mate when they are on the wrong track and show them our support while backing them up? To be sensitive and emotional even in the middle of a business crisis?

Want that spirit back.

Şi mulţi vorbiră multe.

De curioasă cât de mult reflectă web 2.0 blogosfera, mă dădui pe bloguri o tură, stânga-dreapta. Nu mică-mi fu mirarea când văzui puzderie de content trântit acolo fără cap. Normal, făcut după şi pentru mintea de pe urmă a românului care se mulţumeşte cu cioace [datorită ţie, oh mighty Elodia!]. Începui să am dubii, aşa că sunai un prieten, făcui 50/50 cu Mozilla, mă dădui peste cap de 3X ca Greuceanu… Nimic, nici o schimbare. Din orice unghi mă holbez, prostia face pui şi îngraşă AdSensu’.

Păi bine, domnilor, că vorbiţi de tehnologii futuriste, New Media şi toţi atâţia termenii pompoşi, de te doare mintea şi-n engleză, şi-n română! Unde este partea în care contentul schimbă mentalităţi, face revoluţii online şi mută munţii din loc? OK, vă duceţi după caş. Dar chiar aşa, no ethics, guidelines or… whatever? Minunat! La aşa blogări, astfel de popor. Sau invers.

Mă cuprinde o tristeţe i-re-media-bi-lă…

“Să nu creşti niciodată mare! Să nu ai niciodată probleme mai mari decât cele date de o minge spartă sau de o julitură în genunchi! Să nu stai niciodată treaz noaptea gândindu-te cu groază la ziua de mâine, la rate, la examene, la nunţi şi înmormântări! Ce poţi să vrei mai mult decât să poţi să stai şi să te joci liniştit cu Lego, maşinuţe, să te cafteşti cu cel mai bun prieten şi în cinci minute să fiţi iar preteni la cataramă? Să poţi să râzi cu nonşalanţă de cel care câştigă la 6/49 şi să scoţi limba la triştii care pleacă la ora 6 dimineaţa la muncă târând cu groază patul după ei? Să arunci cu bulgări de zăpadă după troleibuze şi să te dai pe ghiozdan pe dealul din spatele şcolii până nu mai rămâne nimic din el? Să te joci două ore în cadă cu soldăţei şi să faci baloane din săpun o zi întreagă?”

Remember those days?

(via Andu, via level.ro)

As if I didn’t have enough to worry about, this morning I received another gloomy piece of information:

on short notice, I must move out!

The landlady will have her daughter move back ASAP, which kinda sucks ‘cuz I’ve no energy to look around for anything right now and no actual thread to follow.

[RO] Voi, astia care cautati colega de camera, fiti gentili si contactati-ma!

I am nice person, very nice. :D

Si 2 evenimente in plus.

Pe burta, in pat, cu sosete groase americanesti in picioare, cu pantaloni rosii hawaiian-cut si o bluza verde-pranz, I feel on top of the world. Sau incerc sa, fiindca de 2 zile locuiesc singura, cucule. Tot de 2 zile incerc sa-mi omor plictiseala cum pana acum n-am reusit, fiind prea ocupata sa cos cu ata alba o chestie pe care nici salvamarii n-ar mai fi scos-o la liman. Deci: lumea mea s-a dezvrajit brusc si a trebuit sa fac fata celui mai ingenios plan de evadare, de la “Prison Break” incoace, pe care un barbat l-a putut pune la cale ajutat de prieteni. Nu regret ce s-a intamplat, ci CUM s-a intamplat. Dar astea-s detalii. Conteaza ca marinimia si generozitatea triumfa, Binele invinge raul iar noi mai putem iesi inca la o pizza…

Cel mai misto e ca, daca pana acum imi cautam room-mate, mai nou s-ar putea sa n-am unde sta. My landlady vrea sa se mute inapoi. Fun, fun, fun! Deci, iata-ma in prag de iarna, cu degetul in gura si ochii mari cat cepele ca nu stiu de unde sa incep cautarile. Am un fir pentru un locsor cald, undeva pitoresc fix in buricul capitalei, la o rascruce de drumuri cu noroc. Dar e numai un fir, gen paraias; eu am nevoie de un fluviu, bai!

PS: Am fost aseara la “Surprize, Surprize” dar pana nu primesc pozele, nu suflu nici “Pss!”. In seara asta, merg la DJ Vadim; am castigat o invitatie de la Metropotam. Mai multe detalii, pe blogul evenimentului. Revin cu detalii.

UPDATE: Frigul si ploaia m-au tinut in casa, iar DJ Vadim a cantat aseara pentru altii mai putin lenesi.

“Frica de singuratate recent aparuta in formele ei maladive este terenul cel mai propice al compromisurilor si umilintelor umane. Din aceeasi frica, ne ratam vietile, iubim umbre de persoane si ne alegem orbite periferice. Ne arunca in fata privelistii a unui neant interior aparut pe fondul uitarii unor relevatii initiale.”

Adi, ce frumos mi-ai furat subiectul! Acum tb sa inventez ceva nou. :)

I used to admire strong women - “a woman like a man“, as Damien Rice puts it in one of his songs… Not anymore, I don’t. They all seem fake and plastic on the outside. And on the inside, they look just like cardboard paper boxes: overused and on the go to be recycled.

***
I have a vision of me which I tame will not be accomplished. Don’t know, I get this weird intense feeling that circles stretch around my waist, my heart, my neck… It’s like a kabuki nightmare you want to put an end to but can’t drop the curtain. I isolate myself in times like these. I too become a cardboard paper woman. Only my recycling brings me to a better world… Well, I got newsflash for you: this better world hasn’t happened in ages!
***
A few days ago, I met someone funny and smart and witty and… I just rest my case. I do admit it: I’m a pusher. And good people that happen to cross my way become idols, dolls, then rags. Not all of them, no. But some, the best, if not cherished properly, end up losing themselves to me and me to them. A mambo-jumbo that often requires heart surgery after and tons of cellulose wasted on hankies.

Tonight I feel lonely. I feel so not me (and it’s not even the first time it happens). No, not depressed, just not me. I read Adi’s blog but cannot match the feeling. I am not a philosopher, though I studied philosophy for 2 years… Maybe I forgot it all, it happens. Or maybe it’s there, in the back of my head… But anywayz, this is not the point.

Tonight I’m sad and for good reasons. I am not a strong woman, at least not the strong woman YOU think you’d find in me. But I do my best at being bold. And I fail. And I get kicked in the ass. And I read books. Not self-help best-sellers, no. Plain library books, like Harper-Collins/Humanitas editions or so. (Yet, too seldom to mention.)

I love good books but have no time to finish any. The most recent book I read in whole was Rosa Montero’s “La hija del canibal”, translated in Romanian as “Ziua Inocentilor”. And I never finish my ideas, as you may well see.

So, being bold once does not guarantee you become imune for life to critics. And, as one said in a certain comment on a certain blog, “I like coaches and trainers better than critics” (my guess is critics are a lost profession).

Yes, lack of motivation kills. No instantaneously but like poison, in slow motion. It is what’s happening to me for a while now: can’t find joy in anything I do. I live routine like mechanical watches, counting the days as they pass by, slower or faster, rainy or sunny, better or worse.

For me, LOVE’s not a word, it is The Ultimate Remedy. I need a higher motivation, a reason to wake up in the morning and wink at the face in the mirror. And I believe a feeling of humongous proportions can embed it all: pleasure and pain, living and dying, rebirth and renewal. I believe it can transcend the gaps and cracks and spaces open that suck us in and lose our joy and hope.

I’ve had only one great passion and other big or smaller crushes. I even hallucinated of being in love, until I realized it was only an egoistical approach to bedroom and boredom. But NOW… Now it all has to be perfect. At least, the closest carbon copy to perfection. I am aware there’s no such thing on Earth as “identical fit”, but I could wear a glove with +/-0,01 inches failure…

Recently, I’ve noticed I put as much effort into being joyful over peculiar things as into great discoveries, that I just ran out of LOLs and my energy’s been squeezed off to the max. I’ve also noticed my blog doesn’t reflect me anymore. Have stuffed so much junk in, it has become obnoxious.

Need to refresh, but for now feels I have no clue as about where to start or where I’m heading to. People that read it yell me feedback: “Change template. Change style. Change something.” Well, folks, if I don’t change me first, why then redecorate my home?!

Some more, I’ve noticed SEX STILL SALES. Or buys you mates. Massively, ’round the globe. No breakthrough news, and marketers will blame me for redundancy (check!). But hey, am I the only one who sees things done dirt cheap in mashes and POSMs and billboards all around? I find it awkward that men are only driven by translucid flesh & tiny waistlines. We’ve landed on the Moon, created robots and nano-tech is going sky-rocket. So, where’s the fun in stalking teenage girls in bars? Are 40-over women doomed? Are 50 year olds bound to die in pain while attempting suicide? Are decent men extinct?

Furthermore, I see myself digging the gap between the world outside and the teen generation, whose sole aim is to gather like sheep and drink and talk nonesense, then go home, sing in and chat their brains out, rollback to partying hard, and chat some more and hit on guys/girls over IM, and have VoIP sex (‘cuz cybersex is so out of date). Geez, I must be getting old if my perception shrinked as much as wanting to have a pain-free long-term relationship! (LOL)